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So keep hustling - the side hustle is no hassle!



For every side hustle you know, I have seen it, plus the other one too.

They sell fruit salad, mangoes, rice, ndegus, peanuts and chicken.  Big fat chickens.  Traditional chickens.  No modern chicken for the healthy you.  They can do the market for you.  Just send them the shopping list with quantities.  If you are not sure about the quantities, tell them how much you want to spend, the size of the household and they will get you the right quantities to last a suitable duration.

They run 24 hour kiosks, mpesa and airtime, recycled clothes from England, Germany or Canada, or new trashy ones from the East that never seem to fit on part of the body or the other.  They have kaimati and makate mayai available at night prices.  They have alcohol and condoms.  They make sure they are always prepared for you.

They sell jersey tops, official shirts, waterfall jerseys, cardigans, skirts, dresses, skirt suit, trouser suit, pashminas and leather jackets.  They sell you the clothes that reverse and change from one to the other – the “day wear to nighttime” all in one.

They sell good quality panties for little girls, cotton panties for ladies, stockings, bikers and bras.  They sell you foundation garments that hold you down, tuck you in, plump you out and lift you up – it’s the body remold happening.

They sell earrings, bangles and rings.  They sell jewelry sets.  They sell African, gold and silver.  They sell gold from West Afrika and Somalia, and silver from India.  You like it, take it – I’ll be back at the end of the month for the cash.

They sell manicure sets, foundation, mascara and the lipstick that stays on the whole day. They sell hair accessories, wigs, braids and everything in between, including the mud hair treatment from some valley in south east north Asia that rehydrates your hair all day long.

They sell bed sheets, blankets, duvets, pillow cases, bed covers, sheers, and curtains.  They sell them individually, in pairs or in sets.  Runners, mats, napkins and all manner of table accessories.  You need it we have it.

They sell shoes.  Alligator, gladiator, blocks, stilettos, ballerinas, open, closed, boots, uggs. Leather, pleather, plastic, cloth, and the latest fad Ankara.  Footwear is their forte.

The sell all kinds of sex aids. The soaps, the pills, the gadgets.  The lotions, the flavours, the gels.  They sell the manuals and sessions with the aunties.  The scented candles, edible underwear, straps, balls and what-nots. Nothing we can’t get for you – if we do not have a name for it, just describe it.

They sell the latest shirts, jackets, cardigans and the skinny suits that fat men insist on wearing.  They sell colognes, ties and belts, watches, tie and money clips.  “I only deal with men things – they do not bargain and they pay on time.”

They sell the latest gadgets – again mostly to men.  The car tracker, the ‘get away from me, intruder” talking car alarm, the sending notifications to your phone car alarm, the nanny cam, the magnetic door contact burglar alarm, the mace and the taser too.  Protection is our game, security our surety.

The sell MLM - mutli level.  Forever, GNLD or Tianshi.  They sell Mary Kay, Avon, Oriflame. They sell Talkfusion, QuestNet, and the latest one -Anion.  They make money, earn cars and take annual holidays to far off exotic places.

They import everything Turkish suit, Indian leather jackets and bags, the Pakistani towel and the Egyptian 400 thread count cotton sheet.  They import from China; from China grade a, to China grade z – anything at whatever price.  We can source, clear it for you and deliver it to where you are.  Where are you?

They farm.  They grow kurly kale in Yatta, potatoes in Narok, wheat in Kiambu and fish in Murang’a.  They farm by long distance.  They manage via the phone.  The manager is the “sister of the cousin of my uncle’s second wife”.  You remember her, the one who went back to mashambani after failing to securea job after doing the 6 month computer course in that college at the corner of the road.  That college is quite useless.

They offer personal services.  Had I said they can shop for you?  In the market. Yes - personal market shoppers.  For the busy discerning working wife and mother.  They run errands for you too.  Pay fees, pay bills make deposits for your chama.  Sometimes you wish they could impersonate you, and do a meeting or two for you.

Personal coaching.  For you and your young ones.  In whichever skills or subject.  Piano, taekwondo.  Financial investment advice is the best one – its what you need to make sure that you secure and grow your current earnings for the lean retirement years ahead.

Personal services go beyond the financials.  We can tweeze, braid, wax, message, pedicure and manicure you too.  We can tone, exercise and get you back in shape.  We can teach you how to samba and do the polka.  Even the azonto and the twerking.  All in your home.  No madam, do not get off the sofa  - we come to you.  And of course charge you a nice round figure – for the coming and the going.

The middle man.  Who always knows someone who wants something, and knows the person who has it. Shifty brokerage.  What can he get for you, you ask.  What do you want is the response.  For the right price, he can get you anything.  The price has to be right, so that he can make his cut from both ends of the deal. 

The middle woman is available too.  She has niched herself.  She deals in one specific thing and that alone – she does not deviate.  She may be either trading or acting as a go-between intermediary, but whatever she is doing, believe me she is making money from it. 

If your hassle isn’t here, forgive me.  I am protecting you.  I haven’t written about mine either, I do not want copy cats and apers – at least not until I have a good head start and have made enough money to only work just a couple of hours a week.

So keep hustling - the side hustle is no hassle!!
  
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