Wednesday, 8 February 2017

I’m voting for nonsense!

It is a word.  A noun.


1.  spoken or written words that have no meaning or make no sense.
"he was talking absolute nonsense"
synonyms: rubbish, gibberish, claptrap, balderdash, blarney;
informal:  baloney, rot, moonshine, garbage, jive, tripe, drivel, bilge, bull, guff, bunk, bosh, BS, eyewash, piffle, poppycock, phooey, hooey, malarkey, hokum, twaddle, gobbledygook, codswallop, flapdoodle, hot air
dated;  bunkum, tommyrot
vulgar slang; bullshit, crap, crapola
"that’s a lot of damn nonsense”

2. foolish or unacceptable behavior.
"put a stop to that nonsense, will you?"
synonyms; mischief, naughtiness, bad behaviour, misbehaviour, misconduct, misdemeanour,               pranks, tricks, clowning, buffoonery, funny business
informal; tomfoolery, monkey business, shenanigans, hanky-panky
“she stands no nonsense”

Nonsense.  Or Nanzzenzz in Keyanese.

The word runs unbidden into my head.  

I’m looking at what’s trending on Twitter, reading a politics WhatsApp group, looking at what’s posted on various FaceBook pages and timelines. Party this.  Party that.  Coalition there.  Independent them. 

Nonsense!  Nanzzenzz!

It is deafening nonsensical hopelessness.  At least to me it is - at this point.  The current opposition is tarred with the same brush as the current government. 

And yet soon I will have to choose.  The difference is the same.  Or the same is the difference.  AKA none.  Asking me to make a choice between my being fried on the pan or boiling in the kettle.  Dead.

I’m ready to make a choice.  I’ve registered – how could I not have.  The IEBC crew sometimes us my plastic chairs at my gate as they run their gig.  Tomorrow I think I’ll take them a pitcher of cold water every so often, poor guys, multiple umbrellas but still – it is hot out there.  Pause. Perhaps not. They might then ask for loo privileges.  Or maybe I can charge them 20 bob per trip.  Illegal – no license to run a pay loo.

I’ve registered.  I must to vote.  I have to vote. I am a patriot.  It’s my God given duty.  Sometimes I ask Him why why why did He get me into Kenya?  There were no other souls leaving to other parts un-festering at the time of my conception?

My village caustic tongue would equate my given task of voting to feeding chickens with water with a spoon, playing a guitar for a goat or painting the neighbours mongrel.

Nannzenzz!!  Again across my neural somethings.

I’ve discussed this with others.  Various views.  Sycophant rhetoric spewing unengaged brain coasting on the leaders sniffles and grunts voting for the party – six suit material conversations – probably in cheap polyester.  I’m not going to wake up and waste an iota of my time to look at ballot papers which might as well be empty.  I’m going to write my own name on all ballots and vote for myself.  I will just better go and mark them before they steal in my name.  I’ll vote the lesser evil.

I am not convinced.  All these are not my options.

Who will I vote for?  The MCA that never responded to my email?  The lady rep whose name I do not know?  The Papa Tosh, Mresh wa Nai whose peoples – used to be called the jeshi, I have no clue if they now have a new moniker - spray paint our walls and plaster their run of the mill posters on to our lamp posts and gates in the dead of night.

I think I’ll be the lady who goes to the voting booth and draws sad crying faces on the ballot.  Or pukey faces.  I am fed up to vomit point.

None. And I repeat.  None.  Of the people offering themselves, thrusting their way down my throat [and election campaigns have not yet started –  have they? - shudder my sensibilities], at whichever level,  are worthy of my vote.  At least not nationally.  Or in my locality.  That I have heard off.

I'm looking for radical, no holds barred leadership.  Someone with values, with nothing else but determination, an ethical backbone and doesn't give a crap about anything else but the good of a nation. I'm looking for someone who's not looking for what position does for them, but what they can do for me.  My children.  And our future – mine is definitely shorter than theirs, but I’ll be watching from heaven and living vicariously through them.

I'm looking. And I know I'm not alone.

So meanwhile I am voting for Nanzzenzz - whoever that might be.  I hear their first name is Other.  Or Utter.  


image from