Wednesday, 15 October 2014

Small minds!



Once upon I time, I dressed in a princess style dress and wore a military issue jumper, knee length socks and   Bloomers or petticoat were optional – depending on who your mother was.
laced black thick soled shoes.

I sat in a class, amongst other like dressed persons, and we listened to teachers.  They taught it to us.  What it was that was taught, I remember not – at least not consciously.  I know that some taught residue must be somewhere in me, coz once in a while I know something that I never learnt for myself – so someone must have told it to me.  Or I hear something that makes me remember something I was once taught

One teacher taught us about small minds.

She walked into class one cold freezing morning.  The kind of morning where you wish you’d carried the baby brothers’ leso and blankets.  This morning so cold, that your toes freeze in your Michael Jackson wooly socks.  Pop socks.  Yes –I remember that’s what they were called.  Pop socks.  Worn with leg warmers.   Constant drizzle, “raining cold”, is what my grandmother calls it in her vernacular.  The kind of morning wazungus get chilblains.  If I knew what they were, I would have had them that morning.  It was a cold morning.  Miserable. 

Windows tight shut.  Door jammed shut.  Class steaming from the 30 odd bodies.  Damp jumpers.  Wet hair.  Steaming toes inside the thick soled back to school shoes.  Horrid hot air.  What is the negative of nice scent?  De-scented?

Teacher tries to open door.  Teacher shoulders door.  Door opens. 
We scamper to seats.

TEACHER
Like rats.

Teacher starts march to front of class.  Stops.  Gags

TEACHER
What the???  What is that?  Open the windows.  Goodness. 

No movement

TEACHER
Open. 

One window opened.

TEACHER
All.  Open all of them.  My goodness.  Smells like a coop.  Are you animals?  Heeee!!

Teacher stares at class.  Nose curled.

TEACHER
On the table.  Homework book.  Class work.  Grammar.  Literature.  Lets see the kind of rubbish you were doing last week.

Stillness  Silence.  No movement.  No action.

TEACHER
What is it?  You’ve lost your brains?  

ME
Good morning

TEACHER
What?

ME
Good morning

TEACHER
Are you talking to me? 

Silence.   

Is your brain in gear?

 Stillness. 

Am I your boyfriend?

ME
No

TEACHER
She even answers.  (Derisively) Good morning.

CLASS
Good morning!

TEACHER
Look at them.   MHH!

TEACHER
Are your books on the table?  Where is your book [pointing at me]?

I open desk.  Head under the lid.  Look at deskmate from inside the desk.
Footsteps.  Deskmate crouches in seat.
Footsteps stop right here. 
Deskmate slides halfway under desk.
Tap tap tap on my desk lid.
Desk lid lifted out of my hand.

Head down.
I look for book down one pile. 
Look for book up another pile.
Look for book across another pile.

TEACHER
Are you serious?

Silence.

TEACHER
Madams?

Desk lid is released.  My head unducks.  Missed by a millimeter.
Head down lower.  Reach under chair.  Pull my big green khaki tent material bag.  Round her pearly painted toes. 
Open bag. 
I look for book in outside pocket.
Look for book in inside pocket.
Look for book in side pocket.
Look for book in top pocket.
Look for book………………..
………satchel gone.  Ripped out of my hands.  Slides across.  Stops at other row of desks.  Upside down.  Collage project doesn’t like that.  Green grams fall out.  Beads roll out.  Cotton wool sticks out.  Tissue glides out.  Glue stick rolls toward me.
I stand.  Step on the glue stick.  Legs move without me.  Stagger.  Fall against next desk.  Recover.  Move toward bag.  Step on gram.  Legs slide.  Body stays still for an instance.  Falls against other body standing to assist me.  Both body collapses.

Loud!  Hilarious! Laughter!

TEACHER
Quiet!  Silence!! 

Bodies go to stand.

Do not move.  Not a claw.

Titters.

Double silence!!  (At me) What are you doing?

Silence.

Do you have your work?

Head shake

Speak.  Use that “good morning” loose mouth.  Do you have your work?


ME
No

TEACHER
What were you looking for?

Silence

Have you done it?  Huh?

ME
No

TEACHER
Activity to disguise your laziness?  Trying to bamboozle me.  You think I am a fool?  I know.  You have not done your work.  You think that looking for nothing it will convince me you have done it.  Sideshows and destructions.  Confusing issues.

Naaansense!  From your puny little brain!

Small mind!!

Turning to the rest of the class

Who else has not done their work?

Silence.

Stand up

Whole class stands up

Small minds!!

Postscript - The sad thing is, if you are currently surrounded by small minds, your mind starts to shrink too.  Shudder my nerve cells!!  My glial cells too!!