Tuesday, 15 September 2015

The concurrent woman

I met a trio of lads the other day.  Young.  Really young.  Young enough to be my kids.  It was an age defining moment - I am old enough to have kids that have gone through college and are earning their living.  Independent young men.  Fine young men.  Doing things.  Going places.  Looking sharp. Sounding good.  And they had been friends for a long time, as long as their young lives allow.

We got talking.  About age, of course about age.  Then life issues, perspectives, relationships.  And women.  When young men are involved in a conversation with an older woman, women may be an agenda item. 

Each had a different view.  Each had a different mondus operandi.

One was not in a relationship.  And was not looking to be in a relationship.  I did not find out why that was; but I understood at this point in his life, he did not need a woman to complete him. [I have always wanted to use that phrase.  I wondered if he was okay – which twentysomething year young man does not need a woman in his life.  But maybe he was born that way?  Physically, soulically, spiritual?  Maybe he will end up in a bikram monastery scenario, though he probably will have a lot of explaining to do, regarding the carrying on of the clan name to his begetters.  I wonder if he is the sole male heir of a traditional thought oriented man.

The second was in a relationship, and must be in a relationship.  Is always in a relationship, with one woman.  Never is without a woman.  One woman leaves the out the back door of his heart, as the next one crosses the welcome home mat at the front.  The serial monogamy kinda man.  Does this mean that he has one girl in the hand, and another within reach.  Living for tomorrow?  Instead of the now, the present moment [he needs to hook up with Eckart Tolle]?. What happens if the girl in the hand is the girl for life?  Will he recognise it?

The last was in multiple relationships.  I thought to myself, he needs a different kind of woman for different times; one for the morning, another for noon and another for nighttimes.  Or different ones for different man things – fun, sport, witty conversation, or just dumb nonthinking cave things. Plus for Friday drink-ups, Saturday road trip, Guest plus one kinda things.  Could he ever do with one woman I wondered to him?  Could he find him one woman to suit him?  Instead of three, four, five? A Stepford wife [read mindbogglingly beyond submissive], who turns into stunning sociality kind of thing and then crazy bitch virago the next, totally mercurial but surprisingly reliable in it?  Drop dead gorgeous – without effort. Playful, thoughtful, funny, intelligent and silly, serious and freaky in turn.  Has assertiveness down pat and yet maddeningly aggressive with full bodied splashes of bad and bitch thrown in.  Who’s God fearing and has her shit together.  Appreciates, respects, loves and baby’s him unconditionally.  All at the same time?   All these aspects [like in geometry] intersecting at one point, one woman? Does such a woman exist? The concurrent woman.
 image from http://jwilson.coe.uga.edu/