Tuesday, 6 June 2017

My greatest learnings – life coaching

Once upon a time – okay, two years and 4 months ago, I dramatically left formal employment.  I walked out that door, and did not let the door hit me where nature put a crack on my back side.  I walked into a great wilderness of nothingness.  It was to answer the call of my restlessness, my unfulfillement.  It was to search for something that was larger than my current existence.  Because I knew that this - where I was at, was not it and could not be it - the end game for my existence.

I have dived deep into myself.  Faced my struggles.  Examined my pain.  Rejoiced in my gifts.  Awed by my accomplishments.  Accepted powerful me.  I have found out who I am.  I have been holding back from stepping forward and up; by relying on past negative outcomes caused by rejection and refusal of my most ardent hopes and wishes, by those that knew no better.  I have faced my fears.  Of failure, of indecision, of procrastination and inaction – held together by self created comforts of perfectionism and a false sense of modesty.  My past is important.  I celebrate it.  It counts.  It is a signpost that I have moved, I have grown, I have accomplished.  It is a reserve of my learnings to dip into and use to fuel my future.  I am brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous [A return to love, Marriane Williamson] for I am fearfully and wonderfully made [Psalms 139:14].

Now I am resolved and committed to moved out of my comfort zones, with a focus on accepting challenges and opportunities, embracing them in their uncomfortableness, so as to live in my purpose and my vision, which is given to me by the greatest love of my life, my God and my creator. I am affirming my destiny.

Coaching has taken centre stage in the actualisation of my vision in my purpose.  I have with temerity faced my past and boldly acknowledged my current reality.  I have found out who I am.  I have identified my values.  I know where I am going.  No – I am where I am going.  I have been to that mountain top, and I have looked over.  And I have seen my promised vision.  I am already there. 

The joy is in the details.  The planning.  Setting up my goals.  Prioritising them.  Because I am already there. 

The journey is in the joy.  It is easy.  Because I am already there.  

My feet are on the road.  I have the map.  Because I am already there.

I have my daily food.  My rituals.   My exercise, meditation, reflection, powerful questions and most of all, gratitude.  Because I am already there.

I have my life plan.  I know what I am doing.  I am moving.  I am succeeding.  I am winning.  Because I am already there.

Magnificent.  Victorious.  Triumphant.  In my glory.  In my splendour.  Because I am already there.

I am there.

I have learnt how to coach, and been coached.  Two for the price of one.  And for that I am grateful.  Coach, I thank you.  For being real.  For being authentic.  For being available.  For sharing.  I came to learn how to coaching to find out how to pass my messages in my consulting work and to find out how to help people fix their life problems.  In an awesome twist, I have got more than I bargained for.  I am grateful.

I will use my skills, plus my God given skills, abilities and gifts, to do for others what has been done for me.

I commit to looking to coaching to get me success.  I commit to joining like minded people, who are seeking for personal life fulfilment and to making a significant contribution to society.  I know that this day, this moment, every moment, is the moment that I am happy, grateful and contented in all that I am and all that I will be.

I’ve just completed a life coaching course, and one of the requirements - to sufficiently complete the course - was a 500 word reflection on, “My greatest learning’s from the course (including inspirations, insights, understandings, breakthroughs, acknowledgments) and how I am and will apply these into my life, work, and coaching”.

This – up here, is what I turned in – I’ve edited a coupl’a words.

Monday, 1 May 2017

God is good crazy

image from www.pinterest.com
‘God is good.’ 
‘All the time’
‘And all the time’
‘Good is good.’

Oft repeated in my presence.  In church.  And other gatherings where believers meet.

One day, my parish priest added, ‘God is crazy’.  There was utter and profound shock amidst the congregants.  There was a smattering of ‘Noooooooo’, from mouths not agape at the thought of a crazy God.  He still says it, once in a while, ‘God is crazy’, laughs heartily, but not once has he ever received a unified response.  I do not know what his expected response is.

I was not shocked.  I thought  - he thinks the same?  Because I confess, I have thought it.  I have.  I have with temerity to thought that God is crazy.  In a good way.  A good kind of crazy way.  Does that exist? And I am not being irreverent.  I am just expressing my inability to understand Him in my little human thinking.

Me thinks this – God decided He was going to make man in his image and likeness, out of love, for He is love.  He did not need us, He did not need me, for He is complete within himself, but still He made me.  High expectations.

We foiled his Plan A of course – man, and I.  We ‘about-turned’ from Him and we were left high and dry, distant from his constant love.  Un-communioned with God.  Dead.

Plan B, was Jesus.  Which makes me wonder, what if Jesus had not fulfilled His part, and He had refused to lay down His life for me?  Could a part of God not do what God wills? Would I ever have been born again in the Spirit of God?

Would Plan C have been activated?  Was there a Plan C?

All I know is, even after all is said and done, I have a yearning in my spirit.  My spirit which is in His image and likeness.  A yearning to return home.   A hope.  Based on faith.  Clinging in trust. On love eternal. 

And that’s that.  So simple  - obviously.  So complex - incomprehensible.  To me at least.  Crazy.  Good crazy. 

Elevation - through the Patmos Experience

image from www.pinterest.com
I am reading a book – okay, I have already finished it.  The book is Lifted from the Pit of Brokenness
and Despair, subtitled, A Testimony in Healing and Restoration, by Anastasia Queen.

My mother gave me the book.  She bought it at the prayer session she attended recently.  It is a good book.  Anastasia has dedicated the book to the courageous men, women and children who died in the 1994 Rwanda genocide, but above all, to all the survivors, whose testimonies, though in no way similar to hers, but in many ways - their courage became her courage, their strength became her strength and their hope her hope.  I find that profoundly insightful – the transference and the passing on of the determination and expectation for and of life.

Anastasia tells intimately of her life’s hurt in a relationship, the effect it had on her decisions and actions, the pain and the anguish that she felt, and of the path she took to live again, when God breathed life anew into her.

I have carried away from the book two things.  The ‘Patmos experience’ and the ‘Gethesemane experience’.

Anastasia heard about the ‘Patmos experience’ when she attended a gathering at an Evangelical church in Nairobi, and a pastor preached about it.  He said this about it.  
“Patmos was the island where John was when he wrote the book of Revelation.  The pastor described Patmos as a place that was isolated and lonely.  God allowed John to go through a trying experience that eventually landed him in Patmos.  It was while at Patmos that God gave John a revelation.  He equated this experience of John with experience in our lives where god allows us to through painful situations which leave us isolated and lonely.  We find ourselves in a ‘Patmos’ where He wants to give us a revelation.  Patmos is also a place where we encounter God and we are never the same again.  In Patmos, songs and books are written; out of Patmos comes testimonies and sermons’.“

After I read it, I started wondering about the various stages we go through in our lives, the time in years, the growth and the stagnation, the changes and constancy, the varying seasons.  From personal experience, I have realised that when everything is smooth and calm, I am constant, just there, and not really getting major things done, just dealing with life’s humdrum.  I have found that if there was no pain, struggle or isolation – arising from the trying situations, there is just no significant movement in my life. 

And as I am wondering, I am remembering my oft spoken prayer. “Lord let it count.  Let everything that I go through, let everything that happens to me count.”  I pray this prayer often.  I pray it when I am beset by troubles and strife.  I pray it as I go through them. 

I do not like that I pray this prayer often.  It means that I am often in angst.  Troubled.  Anguished.  I pray it again - Lord let it count.

I pray this prayer also - because I cannot afford to miss what makes each fraught encounter count – for otherwise, I might need to go through it all again, and I really cannot afford that, no way – once is enough I pray.  So Lord, Let it count.

I wonder too if we would get to where we are going, be able to get to where we are going if we had no ‘Patmos experience’.  Do we need that experience to be fruitful, to be able to get into our purpose process? I think we do.  At least for a person such as myself. I have found that my ‘Patmos experiences’ produce the most impactful change in my life.  Going through tying experiences that eventually lead to lonely and isolated place, brings me time and time again to what Anastasia says – encounters with God where revelations come.  Various forms of output.  Resulting in actions, internal growth, encounters, interactions, that lead to impact on my life and that of others – that which I think of as outcomes.

I’ve sometimes thought of my God given life as input, process, output with an outcome at the end of it all.  Organic and iterative.

Inputs; Situations be they calm ordinary and stressful and damaging.  People, the lovelies and the not so lovelies [dare I say nasties].  Relationships with spouse, children, parents, siblings, colleagues and professional peers. Abundance and provision and sometimes lack.  And I.  The person I am. I am an essential input into my own life. 

Process; What I do to go through each moment, each day.  The things I do from moment to moment, day to day, my plan of life.  The work that I do.  The things I do to maintain my life with my creator including  reading His word, praying, fasting, participating in sacraments, reading Christian literature, listening to Christian songs, attending retreats, getting spiritual direction.  The coaching and mentoring I get and also pass along to others.  The process of living and becoming.

Output; My products and services, internal growth – mind, will and emoations, that just get me into the ‘flow of life’ as one of my life coaches calls it.  And the lessons that I carry home with me. 

Outcome; The long term, is living a life focused more on the spirit, with a mission and purpose defined with an ultimate life vision which means I am homeward bound.  The outcome is more than today.  It is birthed continually in all my moments in my journey, collectively leading me to a place larger than a goal, a purpose for my being, my life reason. To my home where my heart is. 

And then as I journey along, processing my life so to speak, come those ‘Patmos experiences’, external and sometimes internal aspects, that turn everything all upside down and on its head, and propel and spiral me to new directions, new experience, new elevations.

The ‘Gethsemane experience’ and its reflection in my life is a story for another day.

Wednesday, 8 February 2017

I’m voting for nonsense!

It is a word.  A noun.


1.  spoken or written words that have no meaning or make no sense.
"he was talking absolute nonsense"
synonyms: rubbish, gibberish, claptrap, balderdash, blarney;
informal:  baloney, rot, moonshine, garbage, jive, tripe, drivel, bilge, bull, guff, bunk, bosh, BS, eyewash, piffle, poppycock, phooey, hooey, malarkey, hokum, twaddle, gobbledygook, codswallop, flapdoodle, hot air
dated;  bunkum, tommyrot
vulgar slang; bullshit, crap, crapola
"that’s a lot of damn nonsense”

2. foolish or unacceptable behavior.
"put a stop to that nonsense, will you?"
synonyms; mischief, naughtiness, bad behaviour, misbehaviour, misconduct, misdemeanour,               pranks, tricks, clowning, buffoonery, funny business
informal; tomfoolery, monkey business, shenanigans, hanky-panky
“she stands no nonsense”

Nonsense.  Or Nanzzenzz in Keyanese.

The word runs unbidden into my head.  

I’m looking at what’s trending on Twitter, reading a politics WhatsApp group, looking at what’s posted on various FaceBook pages and timelines. Party this.  Party that.  Coalition there.  Independent them. 

Nonsense!  Nanzzenzz!

It is deafening nonsensical hopelessness.  At least to me it is - at this point.  The current opposition is tarred with the same brush as the current government. 

And yet soon I will have to choose.  The difference is the same.  Or the same is the difference.  AKA none.  Asking me to make a choice between my being fried on the pan or boiling in the kettle.  Dead.

I’m ready to make a choice.  I’ve registered – how could I not have.  The IEBC crew sometimes us my plastic chairs at my gate as they run their gig.  Tomorrow I think I’ll take them a pitcher of cold water every so often, poor guys, multiple umbrellas but still – it is hot out there.  Pause. Perhaps not. They might then ask for loo privileges.  Or maybe I can charge them 20 bob per trip.  Illegal – no license to run a pay loo.

I’ve registered.  I must to vote.  I have to vote. I am a patriot.  It’s my God given duty.  Sometimes I ask Him why why why did He get me into Kenya?  There were no other souls leaving to other parts un-festering at the time of my conception?

My village caustic tongue would equate my given task of voting to feeding chickens with water with a spoon, playing a guitar for a goat or painting the neighbours mongrel.

Nannzenzz!!  Again across my neural somethings.

I’ve discussed this with others.  Various views.  Sycophant rhetoric spewing unengaged brain coasting on the leaders sniffles and grunts voting for the party – six suit material conversations – probably in cheap polyester.  I’m not going to wake up and waste an iota of my time to look at ballot papers which might as well be empty.  I’m going to write my own name on all ballots and vote for myself.  I will just better go and mark them before they steal in my name.  I’ll vote the lesser evil.

I am not convinced.  All these are not my options.

Who will I vote for?  The MCA that never responded to my email?  The lady rep whose name I do not know?  The Papa Tosh, Mresh wa Nai whose peoples – used to be called the jeshi, I have no clue if they now have a new moniker - spray paint our walls and plaster their run of the mill posters on to our lamp posts and gates in the dead of night.

I think I’ll be the lady who goes to the voting booth and draws sad crying faces on the ballot.  Or pukey faces.  I am fed up to vomit point.

None. And I repeat.  None.  Of the people offering themselves, thrusting their way down my throat [and election campaigns have not yet started –  have they? - shudder my sensibilities], at whichever level,  are worthy of my vote.  At least not nationally.  Or in my locality.  That I have heard off.

I'm looking for radical, no holds barred leadership.  Someone with values, with nothing else but determination, an ethical backbone and doesn't give a crap about anything else but the good of a nation. I'm looking for someone who's not looking for what position does for them, but what they can do for me.  My children.  And our future – mine is definitely shorter than theirs, but I’ll be watching from heaven and living vicariously through them.

I'm looking. And I know I'm not alone.

So meanwhile I am voting for Nanzzenzz - whoever that might be.  I hear their first name is Other.  Or Utter.  


image from http://nanasnonsense.com