Get bandwagonned

I refuse to subscribe to the school of popular belief and action, reigning attitudes and stances. Or

rather, I intend not to subscribe to it. Intention is the key word here. Everyone thinks this. Everyone is doing this. They did it like this last time. Uh huh! That, I don’t do.

It does not always work though – my intent. It is usually strong, but sometimes I get caught up in the gang-ho and find myself prancing right in the middle of the crowd. I just slip right in, without question or mental qualm. And it is great fun. And I really enjoy it. Plus it’s safe. Because I am with everyone else. Warm and comfortable. Nice and cuddly. Wallowing in our unified kumbaya of thought and or deed.

But sometimes I say no. Refuse to slide into the mire. Of the crowd thought. Which leaves me some options. I can, one, choose to stand across the road instead, and watch the show. Two, hotfoot it out of there, either because I know my intent’s will strength versus succumbing ration is low [or high – I never understood that ratio class] but essentially boils down to the fact that I might give in. Or hotfoot it out of there because I just cannot stand to watch the show – it’s either painful, or it really just doesn’t matter to me.

Vacating the scene starts a mental fight. Sometimes. Rarely though, as I think I have become more adept at sidestepping or inured to popular opinion and thought, I pause just around the corner and examine my decision. It perturbs me. Itches. And I have to scratch it. In my brain. It just will not go away. Sometimes I pause for days. I ask myself, should I have stayed, sang the song, learnt the dance steps? I wonder, am I missing something major, do they know something I do not know? Mental scratch, scratch, scratch, scratch, then look under my nail to see if anything, comes off. Pick pick pick on it. Until it becomes sore. Sore and lonely. I imagine, the crowd saw me walk away, what are they thinking about me, saying about me? Maybe, I should change my mind and just get into their programme?

Unpause, turn the corner, hop onto my bus and away. The further away I get from the crowd, the faster the scab form over my mental sore, and the healing happens. Rationalised to change or reinforce my attitude. My beliefs. My behaviour.

But I did not get bandwaggoned. Not today. Maybe tomorrow. We’ll see.

image from www.cartoonstock.com

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