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Lie back in contentment



I know I am smart.  I can figure out things quite quickly.  And see opportunities clearly.

I am brave.  Fearless.  I go for the opportunities.  And I can take on anything and anyone at any time. 

I am confident of my prowess and outcomes in situations.  In all that I do, I am first-rate. 

And my determination?  Unoutclassable.  Through thick and thin, I get there.

I look good.   Actually really fine.  I cut a handsome figure.

Which is what makes me think that I can be something more than I am right now.

Words running idly in my head as I crisscross the township roads getting my shughulis done.

I know I do not know everything.  But I know, I know enough.  To get to where I am going.

I know that one day, I will marvel at my journey and be really glad of who I am.  Those around me will be glad too.  They will wonder how it happened, but I will tell them, I did it my way.  Do you know that song?

My way, I know has many others involved.  I can feel it.  The ones that will count will be the ones who make an impact.  Good or bad.  It does not matter.  But they will be the ones that will mater.

I am not perfect.  There is no perfect.

I know I will hurt people.  There probably will be casualties.  I know I will make mistakes.  Some that I may witness, and others I never find out about.

I will make decisions.  And other not made.  And others will be made for me.  And I will just follow on default mode.

There will be paths taken.  Alleys not explored.  Things not sniffed out.

I think the outcome is preordained.  Whichever road I take, I will get there –to that sit up and marvel place.  Have you watched Sliding Doors?

Where?  That is what I often ask myself.  Where am I going?  Where is my outcome?

During my down times – like the time I had the strange stomach grand mal, and I thought I was dying - I ask myself, is this it?  Sum total?  Live and then die?  Just like that?  Die to where?

Where did I hear that preordained story?  Cannot remember.  But its better than thinking that if I step on the toe of a higher being I could be punished and end up in the gutter as the final destination.  I hate those movies.  Though they drive that predestination theme don’t they?

If I believed in that reincarnation story, it means that I was a really bad higher being and I must be paying for it now.

On my up days, and that is when I give tentative weight to the reincarnation story, I know I must have been a good lesser being and did something to gain my climb up in the value chain of life.  For by golly this journey is exciting.

Let me bypass the junior pack now.  Outrace, outmanoeuvre them.  It’s almost time for them to set out the rubbish outside the SideStreetCafe.  I will be damned if the junior pack led by that pesky Tusker will get first dibs at the juicy rubbish.  Gosh, my jowls are saliva’d already. 

Pick up the pace.  Keep to the plan.  I am not going to get to the sit up in awe place without keeping to the plan.  To the "lie back in contentment" goal.

image from http://mummywhispererblog.com
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