not yet punditik

About God - why am I stubborn?  Why do I not obey?  Comply? I keep on asking myself this.  And keep on not finding the answer. Not the commandments.  Those are clear.  Thou shall, thou shalt not.  And yes – I flounder even in those – but I am not talking about the commandments now. I’m talking about the other things, the clear nudgings, the loud messages that come to me from God.  In all manner of ways. Why do I not obey?  What is obedience?  Submission, “the action of accepting or yielding to a superior force or to the will or authority of another person”.  Will or authority of God.  Accepting that His wisdom for me is sufficient, His provision for action is sufficient?  That His grace is sufficient? Trusting God?  Easy words to say.  But how to action them?  Consciously and consistently? I know submission to Gods way leads to experiences God’s will in my life.  To the living of His pl...

image from http://likesuccess.com/ She is gone You said her time was up Her lease expired She left the day you looked at your past And told it the cliché My past does not define me She left the day you shouted down the urging That whispered that life was large That there must be more than this She left the day you refused to acknowledge That the past was hurt And had a hold on you She left in that instance And your past became your now And you embraced it She left the moment Your past became your future And you received it She left the day you acquiesced yourself To not seeking To not healing The instance That you died While you still lived She did not go softly She fought and pleaded But you were determined You unthreaded her slowly In action and in deed From the weft and warp of your being Piece by piece into the bin Smaller and smaller she became Then just a smudge You dusted off your ha...

image from http://likesuccess.com/ They - the world, keep on telling me, that it is not about me.  That it is about the people in my life, my interactions and relationships.  It’s about others.  That I should view them as more important than I. And that making it all about me is the height of selfishness and egocentricity. But, I recently had a conversation with someone, and subsequently sat in the audience for a sermon, and the message was the reverse – It is all about me.  My life is about me, my actions are about me, and what I am doing is about me.  It is all about me. One view point must be right, and the other wrong.  Or could both be right.  A conundrous situation that.  And could there be too, a third prism?  That third part - I am not going to even entertain. So - two sides, to it.  A coin.  With one side about me, and the other not about me?  Double sided me.  Within the width transverse of me th...

image from Pinterest I'm keeping you My mother My sister My daughter You We are together Not just for a reason Or a time But for life Ours Pendulum-ing sometimes In and out of my life And at each incoming Is like you were never away Back to our sameness You remind me time and time again That every woman has a story Characters and instances changing The struggle is the same I bear witness to this I watch you in struggle Grow into the you I have already seen And I am glad I am a part Of your becoming I worry about you When things are not right with you And wonder if you worry about you too Or me Or not I pray for you I know you pray for me Because I get answers To prayers I have not prayed Or yet to pray I love you No matter what No matter when No matter why who where how Or if Because of love I forgive When you have not been kind When you have not offered a hand When you have sp...

image from Twitter Though I am invested in you And I know you have done the same I have had to let you go Or gone myself Adieu I have to let you go Your reason is complete Our stay is ended Out of my life And my journey’s space I have to let you go You add no value to me now Or I to you Because Our time is off Looking back sometimes I see Albeit at times I cannot recognise The point at which our steps diverged To allow for singular movement Without the other I will keep you in my heart And once in a while Pull you out In nostalgic remembrance Of the good The unending conversation Truest exchanges The story shared Deep into the night And forever lasting phone call The unbridled laughter Spontaneous tears Of our souls Bared Without reserve I will remember too The call placed in times of strife Never mind the hour Or the place And the immediate response I will remember us The care The ...

image from https://www.pinterest.com/eilwills/black-art/ You have been a mainstay in my life In the ups and ups Downs and still lower downs  Helping Sometimes abetting I have to fess up I haven’t always told the truth And I wonder if you’ve known To let it be Because you already knew I have lied to you Undoubtedly in thought In a looking glance or none at all By omission in silence and inaction Deliberately in word and deed I have lied to you To shield you from hurt Or to shield myself I’ve known not which Because sometimes the truth would not serve I have let some lies live And killed others When their lyingness was done Or they were not enough For the truth was better I’ve hurt you By accident And in shame deliberately And seen its harm And I am sorry I have quarrelled With you For you And for me Apologised and forgiven I am glad when you succeed I applaud Grateful to be present...

image from https://www.pinterest.com/ Your pains Your sorrows Your agonies I’ve been there I know them Your joys Your happiness Your gladness And peace I live them Your dreams Your desires Your wishes And aspirations I hope them Your values and beliefs What matters most to you Makes you tick and drives you In different degrees of instances Is me You are me woman In different degrees That I do not understand You are a reflection Of myself for myself I recognise you I identify with you So similar to me On the inside So different on the outside Still unfamiliar New twists and nuances For both of us Because Becoming is a process