not yet punditik

I do not love myself – gave me shivers and fat hot stinky sweat break. How do I love me – a state of being that induces within me an anticipatory frisson.   I ponder on this new depth of awareness of my relationship with myself and I am thankful.   Not that I categorised myself as un-selfaware, just that this is a whole new intensity of the awareness thingini that has happened, is happening.   It is a new kind of power injected into me, into my life.   As I am thinking of the ways that I can love me, I think – I cannot love me if I do not know me.   Who am I?   Where have I come from? I take a walk back into my past.   Back to the very beginning.   The beginning that I can remember, my earliest memories.   Then through my different ages - different places, different people – the formative scenes that have brought me here. Feelings.   Powerful feelings.   Some scenes are difficult to remember, difficult to look at evoking immense sadness, emotional pain.   There