not yet punditik

Anthony deMello, Walking on Water – Lord give me the grace to know what to change and to change it, to accept what can't be changed, and the wisdom to know the difference. Acceptance that there are things that cannot be changed is painful.   To realise within the heart, that no matter what one wants, no matter what one does, nothing is going to change.   Of the situation/person/relationship/place/yourself even.   That there are some things one just has to accept as is, let go, resign to them.   Irregardless of how deep one’s longing is, how great one’s hope is, how great one’s faith is, how anguished one’s praying is.   It just will not change.   The pain at that realisation.   The pain.   The anguish to come to that acceptance. And that one’s time, thoughts and actions, efforts and energies would be better used in wise acceptance, or elsewhere all together. And yet elsewhere is not an option. Psalm 136 – 1 [NKJV] Oh, give thanks to the Lord, for He is good! For

image from youtube Many times I have been asked, “how are you”, and the real answer would have been too big for the moment, or the person.  There are moments and people you give platitudes to.   And there are moments and those you do not disrespect thus, and give the honest answer.   Which varies; ·           -  The short truth, ·           -  the long truth [when time allows], ·           -  or the third truth, which is  - my truth right now, is too hard to say, so let it bide a while. First published on my Facebook page

Mother Theresa – God has not called me to be successful; He has called me to be faithful. Faith to me is letting go off me.  My fearful, lazy, self centered, selfish, capricious, disobedient, proud, arrogant, disgraced me.  Letting go of all inadequacies, ignorance, conceit, routine, business as usual, comfort zones.  Embracing my enoughness for what I am made for, and taking one step out of myself.  Asking in the assurance that He will meet me in the second step – where love peace and joy await. Faith for me is selfless love, blind obedience and awe of God.  For His glory and my honour. Lord increase my faith.   To grow to the size of that of a mustard seed.   And my soul shall be healed. Initially published on my FaceBook page. 

image from www.furniturebank.org In the recent past, I've moved a lot, sometimes reluctantly, sometimes eagerly.  Spiritually, soulically and physically.  I have let go of a lot of what I want.  Acquired more, of what I need.  And I hope that it continues.   I pray it dose.  Because, within these actions I have become lighter, bolder, and hardier.  Able to dig into my depths, and similarly reach to new heights.  And in that, still able to leave more of the inconsequential and gather more of the essential.  It never stops.  Off with the old, on to the new, deeper and higher.  And then again.  Replaying on different planes of my life. A result has been the loss of many relationships, or the change in existing ones.   Leaving me lonesome.   Resulting in an initially subconscious search for a “home” for myself.   A place with like minded, like equipped, like purposed people.   That are like me.   To be silent, listen, share and encourage with.   To be with, in this searchin