not yet punditik

After a certain number of years of marriage, and you are still married, as happily as you thought you should be and would be, you need to kneel down and thank the good Lord, or whatever deity on nondeity you subscribe to. Reason?   You have tangled, examined each other, weighing in, judging in, and have found your marriage wanting.   What is that bible verse? Mene mene tekel what?   Upharsin – yes? Mene, mene tekel upharsin. The marriage has been mene’d mene’d.   You have counted it.  Individually.  Together. Severally.  Probably numbered it - on a scale of one to ten.   And it has been found wanting, lacking, oppressive, unhappy, deficient, miserable, bad,  untenable, harmful.   The writing is on the wall. It is not working.   Final analysis - the days of the marriage are clearly numbered.   Impending doom is gathering.   A division of the two that had became one.   It is a heartbreaking, unfortuna...

You meet someone.   You are attracted to them.   You love them.   You do the whole wedding shebang thing.   Married.   And then you live together. Or you live together first and then get married.   But key is the marriage ceremony thingini happens and then the living together.   You must be married first, for you to realise that you married a stranger. Because after some time, and this has nothing to do with the honeymoon stage, or the 7 year itch, or the 10 year hurdle, you look at your partner and realise, crap – who the hell is this.   Who did I get married to.   Who am I living with.   Who did I hitch up my wagon to.   All my wagons. Holyshitthisiscrazy.   I have no clue who this person is.   What in ternation am I doing here.   Blistering barnacles.    Someone send in the marines. Oh merrrn.   What am I going to do.   Was I insane.   No way.   This cannot be hapn’ng ...

Yeee!!   You are getting married.    Marriage is beautiful. You are in for a great ride!!  Exhilarating and thrilling.   Here is what I think you should know...... Marriage is an official arrangement.  That demands some bureaucratic process and hunting for certificates and signatures from various authorities.  Parking your backside on a man’s 4x6 bed and squeezing your underwear next to his in the bag hanging off the mobile wardrobe door is not a marriage. Even if you have four children.  And it does not matter what the constitution says.  Marriage happens when a man publicly stands up and says it has happened.  Until that day, you are just a woman he sexes, a woman who bears his children, but is not good enough to marry.   Before you marry, you know nothing about marriage.  You have watched marriages.  You have read about it.  You have gone for pre-mar...