I have within the last two days come to realise that the
image I have of myself is not the image the world has of me. I see myself as slender, beautiful, sleek and
chic. I think I am intelligent. Correct that – way above average intelligence. I am brilliant, genius in fact. I am I repeat - brilliant, plus industrious,
generous and humourous. I think of
myself as able to take criticism and correction – though this is not often required
seeing that I am brilliant. I also see myself
as open to ideas and change.
On a scale of one to ten, I have obviously given myself a
ten (who wouldn’t?) on everything.
Apparently the world wouldn’t. The world does not give me a ten! The world does not think of me, the same way
I think of me. What? Am I surprised? Of course I am. Should I not be? Why would anyone not think of me, the same
way that I think of myself?
And if they tell me that I am not all that clever or
beautiful, should I take umbrage. Okay –
umbrage is too strong a word – lets use peeved.
Should I not be peeved?
The world has two clear views of me - my physical self and
my non physical nature. If someone
should call me fat, or pull out a picture of a fat man, and say the man somehow
reminds them of me, should I or should I not be peeved? If someone should call me stupid, or send me
a clip of a bumbling idiot, and say that the bumbler somehow reminds them of me,
should I not be peeved?
How dare the world not have the view of me that I have of myself? Does the world see me as the fat man? The bumbling fool? Or is it just something about the person that
reminds them of me? What is it? The curl of my lip? The size of my toe? The arch of my brow? The pace of my thoughts? What is it? Please tell me.
Piqued moment - should someone telling me that something
reminds them of me – especially if is it not at par with my 10/10 image of me
upset me? Isn’t that person the lowest
of the low? Insensitive.
Non-thinking person. How dare
something that I do not like or approve of, remind you of me? How dare you even point it out? How edifying is that? Please – I am not willing to put up with any
perception, or any reminder of me that is less than the perfect idea of me.
Introspective moment - How concerned am I with outward
appearances? With inward
appearances? Which is more important? How concerned am I with what people think of
me? Of what the world thinks of me? Does it matter if “their thoughts and
opinions” of me, are not like those I have of myself? What I know myself to be?
Second introspective (and painful) thought - Does anyone
have the right to tell me that the fat man or the bumbling idiot reminds them
of me? Does it mean they think I am
fat? Does it mean they think I am an
idiot?
Third introspective (and enlightening) thought - Who shows
me a true reflection of me? The “me”
mirror? Or the world as my mirror? Is the world my mirror? A world mirror? Mirror mirror of the world, who is the fairest
of us all? Am I the fairest of us all?
“Oh whatever!!” moment - from now henceforth, I am avoiding
all mirrors that make me look unattractive – in body plus soul! I am looking only at the mirrors that give me
a TEN out of TEN!!
Last aimless thought - I wonder what a fat soul looks like? Wonder what can reflect a soul?
image;http://israelmatzav.blogspot.com/2013/07/mirror-mirror-on-wall-whos-ugliest-of.html
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