Skip to main content

I stand alone


I came across this poster which made me remember a note I posted on my FaceBook page in December 2012 titled “I die alone” - quite a melancholic title.  I now much prefer ‘stand’ to ‘die’, so here goes.

 If I have a family I can rely on, I am very fortunate.  If I have even one friend who has my back, who lends their wagon to my circle then I am doubly blessed.

 I may have a list of numbers, of email addresses, of friends on FaceBook – and if I am lucky, perhaps a number of physical addresses where I am welcomed.  Some of the items on this list rarely make it to the “most”, or even the “last active item list”.  A greater part of my list is inactive.  Item last used six, twelve or even twenty-four months ago.

 If I search for the recently used item on that inactive list, it will most likely belong to the person who saw me as a means to an end, who identifier an opportunity I could offer and snatched it up. Once they had what they needed, they upped and run away.  Gone.  No backward look, no adieus!

 The flip side is when I require something.  I scroll through the list, fish out the number, dust it off, use it, get what I want and promptly pack it up again.  Return it to the list to lie idle for the next six, twelve, twenty-four months.

 Funny how crowded it gets when in there is a need.  Calls are waiting, voice-mail is activated, group sms is up; the need is trending, the online crowds are growing, it’s viral!  Mmmh?  I meet up, link up, chat, “like” – do whatever is required to use my list to get what I need.  With my kind of list resource, I do get what I need.

 Thanks but no thanks, I mentally assure you, I will not be calling soon.  I’ve got what I wanted, I’ve grabbed it, I’m running with it.  I will not need anything from you in a while.  No siree.  I have what I needed.  I’ve got it, I got it!  My list, my resource, my means to an end - family, friend, contact, colleague – all forgotten.

 Look at me – amazing yes?  I’ve done it!  You do it!  Everybody does it!

 Strange how, when the self applause has died down, and the need (worse than before) or another like it is back, and I cry “circle the wagons”, there was only one wagon, my wagon.  No one from the list appears.  The crowd is gone, I run alone, I walk alone, I stand alone.

image from pinterest


Labels:

Comments

  1. Wambui23 May 2013 at 10:11

    Good work. Very interesting way of looking at things.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Most viewed

What Madam requires

https://www.vectorstock.com I work as a domestic for my Madam.  I look after Madam’s big family and her big house.  I tend to Madams big garden and her big cars.  For Madam – everything must be big.  She herself is big.  She is also big on ambition – both professionally and domestically.  Which is where I come in. Today I had a review with my Madam.  And she reminded me of her expectations and requirements regarding my performance.  Some requirements were new, some she was just recapping.  In my own words and in no particular order let me tell you what my Madam expects.    My Madam requires;  I am all-knowing.  I must know everything that happened during my watch - where the bumps on the children came from and where her yellow, blue and green scarf is.  She wore it yesterday and left it in the laundry basket. I am omnipotent - all powerful, invincible and able to do what is inhuman...
6 comments
Read more

Of panty lines and such other

Truth be told, as one woman to another, your panty line cutting across your baytock is not a pleasant sight.   True story.   And no, I am not jealous.   Truly, I really do not care that you have a big bum.   And yes, my backside is minuscule, a peanut of a derriere.   I am not well endowed in my nether regions.   And still I am not jealous. Lets talk about us, the small haunched women.   As the world goes gaga over the well endowed grogan ciandas, we too have drooled [in an appreciation of God’s creation kind of way and not on a sexual orientation manner], coveted those mahagas.   We have each come to the realisations that, “my fundamentals is small ya?”   We have told ourselves that “not all good things come in big packages” and “small is good too”.   And with that admission has come acceptance and soon an appreciation for our pint sized rear    My bottom is small.   And to add injury to insult, it has a b...
4 comments
Read more

Gal, before you get hitched....

Yeee!!   You are getting married.    Marriage is beautiful. You are in for a great ride!!  Exhilarating and thrilling.   Here is what I think you should know...... Marriage is an official arrangement.  That demands some bureaucratic process and hunting for certificates and signatures from various authorities.  Parking your backside on a man’s 4x6 bed and squeezing your underwear next to his in the bag hanging off the mobile wardrobe door is not a marriage. Even if you have four children.  And it does not matter what the constitution says.  Marriage happens when a man publicly stands up and says it has happened.  Until that day, you are just a woman he sexes, a woman who bears his children, but is not good enough to marry.   Before you marry, you know nothing about marriage.  You have watched marriages.  You have read about it.  You have gone for pre-mar...
1 comment
Read more

I will write on my table

I am a creature of habits and routines.  Some good, some nasty, some neither here nor there – Rouge Deck thing with a crimson pool, that I nearly took a tumble into.  Future wise words to self – wear flats on deck. lukewarm, which I hear is reviled in some quarters.  One thing is, I do not often go into some spaces.  Like the food, fashion and furniture affair at the DusitD2 space – nice, with its with its Rouge Deck thing with a crimson pool, that I nearly took a tumble into.  Future wise words to self – wear flats on deck. Food was good.  The mushroom fritter like bites dipped in a ricotta and something and dip were divine.  I shamelessly munched on them in bunches of three.  I told the bites distributer to via me every 5 minutes.  Very obedient.  I stopped counting at their fourth stop.  Meanwhile, I was informed that the word divine is bougie bougie and to stop using it tout de suite.  I did.  Will never speak i...
Post a Comment
Read more

Once upon a time you had a friend

Once upon a time you had a friend.   And you were good friends.   Then, like some good things, the friendship came to an end. There was no dramatic fallout between you.   No hurled insults and abuses.   No nothing like that.   Just a longer time to respond to a greeting, and an increasing number of missed calls.   And time.   Time happened in between you. Sometimes you think about things from the other side of the friendship.   And wonder if it was a deliberate decision to move on.   But then you reason, it doesn’t really matter why the friendship ended, what is important is the fact that, once it was there, and then it was not. Then months later, or maybe years later, your former good friend turns up, and attempts to slide back into your life with a ‘Hello Stranger! How have you been?” smiley kind of electronic message. And you are thinking, “Stranger?   Me?   You stopped engaging in calls, sms or emails. You c...
2 comments
Read more