I am not Eve

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I am Eve. The woman. Responsible for entry of sin into the world. That is if you take the literal meaning of the Bible and it's accompanying preserved tradition.

Some pastors also continually remind me of this as they deliver their Sunday homily from the ambo. All examples of short falling expounded on, in great detail are about me – the woman – Eve. I wonder as I listen to them, if they realise that there are men in the church too and that they also are not perfect.

As I listen to such pastors, I wonder if they are speaking from learning – they have had many years of theology and pastoral studies. Or maybe from observation – because they are not blind, and clearly see both women and men and their behaviour. Or from experience – all the women they know are sinful, and all the men perfect. Or personal encounters – they have had really bad encounters with women and don’t like them. Or if he is perpetrating the age old patriarchal relegation of women through out history – men are superior.

I think on what they were thinking as they prepared their sermon. I wonder if they listen to themselves as they deliver the sermon. I wonder what they think as they watch the playback on FaceBook Live. I wonder if any person they speak to and has heard their sermons, candidly gives them feedback.

In the eyes of these pastors, the shepherds of my spiritual life, I am all Eve – sinful, imperfect and perdition to the rest of the world, the cause of all problems for all.

I am also long suffering, and something else I cannot quite name as demonstrated at an intercessors conference I recently attended.

There seems to be an allergy related thing – eyes, head, cough, sneeze going around. Everyone around, including myself is complaining. A male person I am with determines to go to the onsite clinic – a great courtesy by the organisers. He is back in twenty minutes, and he advises me to go get myself checked.

I go down to the clinic over the lunch break. As I go in, no one talks to me, and I ask a lady sitting there what the process is. She points to a chair next to her and tells me to wait, she is last in the line. There is one man being served by the nurse and five ladies before me. Service is slow, and we have been waiting for a while, as the nurse served a man and then the next lady. As we wait, a man comes in, and the nurse tells him, I will be with you in a short while, please have a sit, and points him to a seat near her. I speak up. I came in before him. She ignores me.

She finishes with the lady and goes towards the man. I speak up. These ladies were here before him and have been waiting. And I also came in before him. She comes to me. Whispers. You know, let me attend to him. You are all ladies and he is the only man here. He is uncomfortable. The men are coming and going. And then they will say I did not did not attend to them. Do you understand. I reply. I hear what you are saying, but I do not appreciate it.

Fellow female in the line says you should not say that. I turn to her. I ask her – should I lie that I understand it and that I am okay with what is happening. She has no response. As another man walks in.

I am waiting to see if the new “stronger sex” will be able to bear the embarrassment of sitting in line with other sick, or sicker humans to wait his turn with the nurse. I am sitting here wondering when the sensibilities of sick men, became more important than the sickness of women? Because no one has even asked about our illnesses – no one. But the man has come, and he must be attended to at once.

And I am wondering – what is wrong with all this? What is it that bugs me here? One woman is telling me, because I am a woman, I do not deserve to be attended to before a man, I should sit and wait. And another tells me – I should not speak up about it.

We have a ways to go. We truly do. Especially in the church. Especially in the church. To start looking at people as humans, all equal, all created in love, in the image and likeness of God. All.

We have a ways to go. Because I do not think that the Father loves a man more than He loves me, gives a man preferential treatment at my expense, answers a man’s prayer before mine, forgives a man before He forgives me. I really don’t.

Look at me and see me as the Father sees me. I am not Eve.

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