My desktop
for the last two years has been A return to love by Marianne Williamson. From
the time I read it, the start line resonated with me, has resonated with me for
a long time. I have examined fear
multiple times; here and here and here, and that is just the tip of the
iceberg. A lot of my fear exams are
undocumented.
A return to love starts with, ‘Our deepest fears, is not
that we are inadequate. It is that we
are powerful beyond measure. It is our
light and not our darkness that most frightens us’.
The
darkness has offered me security in its familiarity. In fact, I have often reveled in the
darkness. In the darkness, no
examination of anything can occur. And
though this has not been comfortable, again there has been an assurance in its familiarity. Stepping out into the light for me, has happened
and has been threefold.
One, it has
been an admission and a facing of the latent fears that have held me back. Stepping into my light has been a journey into
a thousand past scary defeating places. I’ve
acknowledged them fears that lurks in my dark, turned my back on them and dared
them to follow me into the light. Once
in a while, when I am not vigilant, they still do tap me on my shoulder, but
because I know them, familiarity does breed contempt - does it not, I tell them
to bugger off. Mostly – sometimes I may
inadvertently let them hang around for a mo.
Secondly,
and within the same instance, the admission of my potential. It is an admission that I am powerful. It is an admission that I am fully loaded,
and ready to move to where I should be. Marianne
Williamson states, ‘We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,
talented, fabulous?” I now affirm
myself. I am dazzling, beautiful,
endowed, extraordinary. I am bountifully
gifted. I am amazebombs! I am too much!! But why should I not be – I am the child of
the most high, created in his image, and his life breathed into me. I am playing big now. And henceforth. I will serve God as He intended for me
to. I will serve the world as I should,
for ‘shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you’ has not
serve them or I well.
It is the
shift, from faint hope, to full bloodied vocal expectation. It is the shift, from being labeled too much,
to personal acceptance of all I am, to leveraging my muchness and putting it
all out there. It is the shift from
holding myself back, to passionately and authoritatively standing up and voicing
my belief in me. It is the ultimate
transition of faith into trust, taking up my assignment and going full throttle. It is the knowing that I am overwhelmingly
capable of being what I should be.
Thirdly, has
been a facing of my very real outcome driven future fears – of failure, of
success, and all that lies in between.
It has involved the apprehension of what lies ahead. They say for every new level there is a new
devil – in what form, and when – ohhhh uncertainity of it all. My fear system requires that I get intimate
with all of them fears, and yet, not let them count. My fear
system has led me to the realization that it is not an event, but a continual process. With stops and backtracking. But with a focus on effort, dint and
determination.
‘We were
born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we
unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our
presence automatically liberates others.’
God has a
hold on me. So I have let me just get a
hold of Him! I will serve! For I was born to make manifest the glory of
God through service to Him and to others.
I will shine!
It is
time. Transition. Season.
My desktop has something new on it.
Something bold. Something that is
not just about leaving the darkness, or stepping into light, where there is
colour and all things nice, but something with movement, assertiveness, and
courage – the moving on despite the fears.
Grace. Obedience. Discipline.
It is time to be in motion! Into
the light, Hallelujah!
What will
this mean for me?
It means
that my weaknesses will not embody me.
For God has said to me that His grace is sufficient for me, and His
strength is made perfect in my weakness.
In Christ I rest and draw my strength. [2 Corinthians 12:9, NKJV]
It means
that I will not keep bounce back against the wall of fear, but scale it, and
move on to greater heights. For God will
make my feet like the feet of deer, and set me on my high places [Psalm 18:33].
It means I bite
my thumb at fear. Yea, though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for God is with
me, He is my rod and my staff, and they comfort me [Psalm 23:4].
It means
that I will not be controlled by fear.
It means I will find a new controller.
A new master. I call him Teacher
and Lord and that is who He is to me [John 13:13].
It means
that I have found a will to move into my transition. For everything has its time. To everything there is a season, a time for
every purpose under heaven [Ecclesiastes 3:1].
It means
that I will not be seduced by fear. For
the Lord has induced me, and I have been persuaded – for He is stronger than I,
and He has prevailed [Jeremiah 20:7], though I think I may not be fully aware of
all the consequences.
It means
that I will not conform. I will not be
conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of my mind, that I may
prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God [Romans 12:2]. But will operate in a new logic. A God-based logic.
How we fear fear and give it the power it doesn't deserve. I choose to let my fear work for me, to take its message and faith it.
ReplyDelete"It is time to be in motion! Into the light, Hallelujah!." I am embracing this truth and intentionally living my it.
Powerful insights on the journey of life and to liberation, unlearning and learning the basics and importance of life and sticking to the essence of the order of life, God, Me then others.
Be blessed and continue shining in the journey.