Get bandwagonned

I refuse to subscribe to the school of popular belief and action, reigning attitudes and stances.  Or

rather, I intend not to subscribe to it.  Intention is the key word here.  Everyone thinks this.  Everyone is doing this.  They did it like this last time.  Uh huh!  That, I don’t do.

It does not always work though – my intent.  It is usually strong, but sometimes I get caught up in the gang-ho and find myself prancing right in the middle of the crowd.  I just slip right in, without question or mental qualm.  And it is great fun.  And I really enjoy it.  Plus it’s safe.  Because I am with everyone else.  Warm and comfortable.  Nice and cuddly.  Wallowing in our unified kumbaya of thought and or deed. 

But sometimes I say no.  Refuse to slide into the mire.  Of the crowd thought.  Which leaves me some options.  I can, one, choose to stand across the road instead, and watch the show.  Two, hotfoot it out of there, either because I know my intent’s will strength versus succumbing ration is low [or high – I never understood that ratio class] but essentially boils down to the fact that I might give in.  Or hotfoot it out of there because I just cannot stand to watch the show – it’s either painful, or it really just doesn’t matter to me.

Vacating the scene starts a mental fight.  Sometimes.  Rarely though, as I think I have become more adept at sidestepping or inured to popular opinion and thought, I pause just around the corner and examine my decision.  It perturbs me.  Itches.  And I have to scratch it.  In my brain.  It just will not go away.  Sometimes I pause for days.  I ask myself, should I have stayed, sang the song, learnt the dance steps?  I wonder, am I missing something major, do they know something I do not know?  Mental scratch, scratch, scratch, scratch, then look under my nail to see if anything, comes off.  Pick pick pick on it.  Until it becomes sore.  Sore and lonely.  I imagine, the crowd saw me walk away, what are they thinking about me, saying about me?  Maybe, I should change my mind and just get into their programme? 

Unpause, turn the corner, hop onto my bus and away.  The further away I get from the crowd, the faster the scab form over my mental sore, and the healing happens.  Rationalised to change or reinforce my attitude.  My beliefs.  My behaviour.

But I did not get bandwaggoned.  Not today.  Maybe tomorrow.  We’ll see.

image from www.cartoonstock.com