not yet punditik

A friend sent me a link to a video of Madonna’s acceptance speech for the Woman of the Year, in the Billboard Women in Music Awards 2016. In life she says, there is no real safety, except self belief.  Coupled to this is an understanding that she is not the owner of any of her talents, she is not the owner of anything for everything she has, is a gift from God.  And that the f’d up things that happen to her, are also gifts, to teach her lessons and make her stronger.  I liked that.  A lot.  Because I have come to a realisation, belief and total acceptance of my own gifts and their formation and use is also a gift from My God, purposed by Him. She is vulnerable, nearly breaks downs as she speaks, about how hard it has been to be her.  To be Madonna.  Controversial. A daring woman, a bad feminist.  She is thankful for the resistance of the doubters, the naysayers, everyone who gave her hell – everyone who said she could not, that she ...

You want me to wear you Though you fit me not Too large Too small You want me to wear you Though you fit me not Too tight Too loose You want me to wear you Though you fit me not Too long Too short You want me to wear you Though you fit me not There is just something That’s a touch something I cannot wear you I will not wear you Because I do not look like me When I wear you I do not look good in you I do not feel good in you I do not look like me When I wear you I’ve tried you on Worn you Walked around in you Been you You cinch Where you should flow And bag Where you could sheath It did not work It will not work It will never work It must never work I know I’ve seen it And been told it You are really good The best Of you Is best on you And good on you Your thoughts Your feelings Your ideas Your stratas Your profile Observing me Your mental palm Feels the ki...

When I was young – I still am by the way, so let’s use the phrase “much younger”;   When I was much younger, I watched the Incredible Hulk transformation scene just once.  And that once was enough.  It terrified me.  So I stopped watching his transformation.  I always knew when the transformation was about to happen -after that David someone had been smashed smashed a bit a bit – I never knew a person who got beaten as regularly as he was, I mean, every week?  Surely?  Anyway, my siblings would start screaming –  He’s changing, he’s changing, he’s changing!!   I would ran from the sitting room to a side alcove and wait out the changing, as I asked my sibling anxiously “ has he changed? has he changed? ”.  The music would change, and Hulk would growl, then I’d know he’d changed, and I would return to my seat, to watch and cheer him beat up the bad guys. As I wrote this, I have googled and watched an Incredible Hulk transformation clip, a...

Once upon I time [okay – in January 2015], my life changed.  I made a life shifting decision that was right for me.  I left the known, I left the old, I left the secure, I left daily humdrum.  And stepped into seemingly nothingness.  I did not have a tangible plan.  I did not have a place to go to.  A thing to do.  I just had me.  And I had to do me. I had felt trapped for a long time.  I had been searching for a long time.  I could have done this a long time ago.  But I was doing it now.  Me, with bigger responsibilities and ties than before, but maybe they were what was moving me on?  I was terrified.  I was getting out of monotonous stifling routine, to find something else, to go someplace else.  What was this else was, I did not know.  It was audacious.  I was looking at myself and wondering if this was the right thing to do.  But a conviction bigger than the life I was leading had s...