not yet punditik

In situations that profoundly touch me, I am either ecstatically happy, or woefully depressed.  And the emotion I experience is based on how I perceive what has happened - yes? Normal expects that, I should be sad after a tragedy, but can I be ecstatically happy too?  Normal expects that, I should be glad when something good has occurred, but can I be woefully miserable after good things have happened? Who knows – depends on my perception right? What about things that are a mix?  Things that create emotions that are simultaneously resident at both the extreme ends?  Things that are soo funny yet soo sad?  Or soo woeful horrible but yet hilarious?   Is that possible? Things that strike me as comical but when I view and examine them from another perspective, think about them just a wee bit longer, send tears sliding from my eyes? Things that are soo achy, that as my mental fingers fiddle and worry them, produce such a satisfy...

Looking back I see my lost years, where I lived but was unalive – is that a word?.  Where I was present but absent.  I wonder to myself - where was I, who was I and am I the same person now I was then. I think to myself, that I did not know who I was.  I think that I did not know who I had been, before I did not know who I was.  I think that I did not know where I was.  I think that I did not know where I had been, before I did not know where I was. I think I blocked off who I had been, and where I was coming from.  Decided not to remember yesterday and the day before that from my beginning.  So that this helped in me not knowing where I was going. It helped in not knowing when tomorrow would be, and where tomorrow would be.  It helped in not knowing if there was even a tomorrow. Lost in a fog, and unknowing that I was in a fog, let alone knowing what a fog was or what fogged me up. A fog within myself, around myself, ...

  Joel Osteen in his book Every Day a Friday, says that happiness “depends on how my mind is arranged. Happiness is something you decide ahead of time."  When you get up every day, “happiness is a choice.  You can choose what kind of day you want to have. You can choose to be in a good mood, or you can choose to be in a bad mood.” Today I have purposed to be happy. Today I am happy. Tomorrow I have purposed to be happy.  Tomorrow I will be happy. Macraps dot net may come my way.  But it will not take away my happy. I have a choice and I surely have made it.  No one or anything can take away my happy.  Nothing.  Nobody.  Happy is a decision I have made.  It is independent of what I am doing or what happens to me.  It is independent of what is said to me or what is done to me. I once read about a man who was in prison but free and at peace.  I do not remember if he was happy.  I w...